On Radical Self-acceptance

I recently read this article on being proactive vs reactive. It really captures how I've developed and how we have developed as a family in the age of Covid. Life in the 'before time' was reactive--we took life as it came, and were simply doing our best. The problem is, that wasn't enough. In fact, it wasn't good at all. We (hub and I) were tired, stressed, too busy, and just barely balancing it all. Post-quarantine has stripped all of that away, in some ways for the worse (probably common to many) but also for the better. Being stripped of all of the 'to-dos' and social planning left us with much to think about, with many raw emotions and ancient pains that rose to the surface in search of healing. And healing, while painful and messy, is also beautiful and brave and a worthwhile journey. So here we are, clinging to one another, grateful for one another, and regularly turning to eachother while doing dishes or some other mindless task, and saying "we make a good team." So this eight-month long journey has been, in all of its hardship and uncertainty, a blessing.

Anyway, back to being proactive vs reactive! Lord how this has changed my perspective! There are a few things the article mentions, but here's been my personal action points after reading it:

I've had to completely rearrange my priorities. While my little family at home has always been my top priority, I had failed to prioritize my friendships and my own wellness. I had internalized my frustrations and then released them on folks who didn't deserve it. Meanwhile, the ones who did deserve my wrath (ha!) didn't receive it. I was overly forgiving to the wrong people, and overly exacting to those who had always supported me. I'm still working on owning that behavior and recommitting to those friendships.

I started to hold myself accountable. I had no right to complain about things I wasn't willing to change. And as we all know, change takes courage and momentum. I had to get honest with myself--brutally honest--about what I did and didn't want in my life, and I had to call myself out on my actions and even lack of action in certain areas. I was only fooling myself by continuing to drink from a poisoned well, and especially when I passed that toxicity onto others as if it were some kind of hot potato. 

Mindfulness helps. Becoming aware of each and every element of my life, and choosing to be proactive over reactive--what a concept! Acting on that decisiveness and giving myself permission to be fully, wholly, and actively myself has been incredibly liberating. It's made me a better wife and mom, as I'm able to be a non-judgmental listener who can offer words of courage and hope because I'm pulling from a reserve that I know how to keep full. So--mindfulness, proactiveness, and radical self-acceptance--that's what it's all about right now, folks. Not always every day, and not always at the same time--but cultivating these ideals within oneself is where joy comes from. 

/end of thoughts, word salad, woo woo stuff for today. ;)