Participated yesterday in the Susan B. Komen Walk for the Cure to cheer on Sarah, who is walking the entire 3 days for my mom. It happened to fall on the two year anniversary of my mom's passing, and needless to say, it was a very emotional day for me. I think I went through all seven steps of grief and back again in one day, and came home and slept for twelve hours, only waking up to hold my son.
My mom was not the type of person to put herself out there and talk about her experience, so I'm doing it for her. She would never say so, but she was the most selfless, warm, unconditionally loving person that I've ever known. Her heart went out to everyone, she trusted that the world was a good place, and she prayed constantly for others, even when she should have been praying for herself. She suffered through chemo, lost her sense of smell and taste, was poked and prodded every week for five years and never complained. She never reprimanded anyone, even when they deserved it.
For the woman at my graduation ceremony who gave my bald mom dirty looks as she got sick on the grass--F___ you. For the doctors who 'forgot' to call back with her recurrent diagnosis--F____ you TWICE. For the mean woman who told my mom that she probably wouldn't be sick had she just meditated more (!?!)--F___ you THREE TIMES. My mom would never dream of saying these things, so her firebrand daughter will do it for her.
I guess I'm not quite past the anger stage.
5 months ago