Friday, October 22, 2010

I'm Getting a Boob Job at 40

Hear me out. I'm 35 now, but I already know what I'm getting myself for my big 40th birthday: a BRCA test. Usually covered by insurance if you have a strong history of breast cancer in your family, it is a blood test that will tell you your likelihood of developing breast or ovarian cancer. More info can be found here: http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/BRCA

After testing, they send you to a genetic counselor, who advises you of your options once your test results are in. If my test were to come back with no BRCA1 or BRCA2 mutation I would let it be, and continue to keep up on all of my healthy habits as its still no guarantee that I'm not at risk. If it were to come back positive for the mutation, I'm preparing myself for a prophylactic mastectomy and reconstructive surgery. Breasts seem to be a pain in the ass these days for a lot of women, and I'm prepared to replace them with some fakies.

The good news is that my mom is the only one in the family who has had cancer. Also, hers was estrogen positive, likely caused by the hormonal replacement therapy she was on in the 80s and 90s, like so many other women in this country. (There was a steep drop in breast cancer rates once women started dropping their HRT regimens.) I likely do not have the genetic mutation, but if I do, I'm whacking these things off and getting reconstructive surgery. I will not let this effing disease bite me in the ass. I'm sick of seeing pink on every package of Oreos. I'm sick of hearing about breast cancer foundations. I'm sick of women getting sick. And I'm sick of time standing still each and every time I run my hands over my boobs feeling for something that shouldn't be there. A mastectomy may seem pretty drastic, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. And I end up with new boobs, so I have the cleavage of a 40 year old when I'm a healthy, active, alive 80 year old.

1 comment:

Gorgon Zola said...

You gotta do what you gotta do to take care of your health ;). Plus if you went through all that you deserve the fringe benefits :)