Friday, February 5, 2010

Judgey Moms

A few years ago, when I first started this mom thing, I came across the occasional judgey (sp?) mom. You know the type--they invite you out for a play date at the park, only to compare everything they're doing with everything you're doing. But not coming right out and saying it, oh no. This is all very uptight, passive aggressive, weird conversation. Most of all, I observed these seasoned moms walking all over other moms, most of whom were new at this stuff and understandably intimidated. Which is just complete bullshyte.

I've heard a lot of talk over the years about the "Mommy Wars" (moms who argue over going back to work -vs- staying home full time) as well as what I'm going to term the "Crunchy Wars," (moms who insist that Attachment Parenting is the only way.) Well, guess what--I'm a total Crunchy hippie Mom, and I don't give a fig about whether or not another mom chooses breastmilk over formula. I'm clearly pro-breastfeeding for myself: I nursed my first son for 15 months, and my second son is still going strong at 8 months. We also chose to co-sleep: soooo much easier for those multiple night feedings. And wait--I'm not finished yet--I "wore" both kids (in a sling and in a Baby Bjorn), I make baby food from scratch, and my first son wore cloth diapers. So I think it's safe to say that I'm a pretty Crunchy Mom. Attachment Parenting works for me and I love it.

That said, one of my close friends put her son in a crib first thing, placed him in daycare so she could go back to work, and decided not to breastfeed after a few weeks of that. And ya know what? I think she's one of the best moms I know. And she doesn't read this blog, so I'm not just saying this for her sake. I'm saying it because I like doing things my way and she likes doing things her way and we're great friends. I know for a fact that her son is going to be just fine, and I don't reserve judgment for her whatsoever. Why is this such a hard concept for so many women? I don't understand it, but until women just cool it with eachother, I'm going to stick to my nursing/non-nursing, working/not working, non-judgey mom friends. (And the nice thing is--I haven't run across any judgey moms since my eldest son was a newborn--so maybe their numbers are diminishing?) In any case, say it with me, ladies: A Happy Mama is a Happy Baby!

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